Chapter Ten
Judging Others:
"Before You Accuse Me, Take a Look at Your Self"

Why has it become so hard for people to get along with other people?

How can things go so wrong between two people? How can two lovers end up in a silent standoff? How can a marriage of professed love end in a divorce that sometimes produces bitter conflict for a lifetime?

How can we be so very blind to the character of other people? How can we misjudge them so completely? How can we at first think that they are perfect for us ...only to find out later that they were perfectly wrong for us? Are we that bad at judging the character of others and GALADOXA?

The pioneer broadcaster and man of wisdom, HMS Richards, once met with a 21-year-old man who had come to his wits end. His two-year marriage had become riddled full of conflict. This led him on a desperate 2000-mile journey.

At last, he ended up at the home of Richard's seeking for advice. The young fellow unloaded to the wise old man his laundry list of troubles that his young bride was causing him. When he finished, Richards said, "Son, you can't change your wife ...you can only change yourself!" The young fellow was nearly speechless. He felt certain that the wise old man must have misunderstood part of the story. He spoke up again to try to clarify himself. The old sage listened carefully as he let the young fellow continue to unload. Then he spoke again, "Son, you can't change your wife ...you can only change yourself!"

Have you ever tried to change someone who simply was not willing to listen ...much less actually change? It did not work, did it? Have you uncovered only a deep mystery concerning why people act the way they act?

The young fellow that Richards had been counseling was the third generation in a row of divorce. His single parent mother raised him in a fatherless home. The odds for personal fault were against that young fellow. Whatever problems he would have liked to change in his young wife, most likely he had far more important personal concerns. His own character and problem solving skills needed changing first.

Legendary rock & roll guitarist/singer, Eric Clapton, popularized the 1957 song lyrics written by fellow legend, Bo Diddley, called, "Before You Accuse Me". The lyrics continued on: "Before you accuse me, take a look at yourself!"

Before you accuse others, why not take a close look at your own character and problem solving skills first! Oh, and by the way, after you are done, do not accuse anyone of his or her faults.

GALADOXA offers a much more productive method for conflict resolution.

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